You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
I am learning to love my HIGH self and my LOW self equally. It's a ninja mind trick, but I can do it.
One of the most pivotal moments in recovery is admitting to yourself that depression is a problem. For me, isolation is pretty deep on the list of symptoms. By the time I'm isolating and fucking up at work, the other mechanics of depression are in full bloom.
What I am learning in my recovery from depression and anxiety is that my feelings are never the complete answer. And often, my feelings just are. If I can separate from them just a bit I can see myself as safe and healthy, even as my bear-feelings are shrieking, "Holy crap, you know what happens when things start feeling this good!"
Get your butt on the trail to recovery and fitness at that same time. And then, if you don't, don't sweat that either. It's easy to be hard on yourself during the holidays. But your own peace of mind, and your own acceptance of yourself, just as you are, is the most important thing you can learn this season.
IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: Ask yourself in moments of doubt, "Is this towards my higher purpose, or away from my higher purpose?" Then choose accordingly.
Listen to your body. If you are feeling sad, check in with someone else. If you notice your overall vibe heading towards the black hole, take all necessary evasive actions.
The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.