If you are going to love deeply, you become more susceptible to fear. The more we come to depend on the reciprocal affection of another person the more put ourselves at risk of a painful loss should the relationship not work out. Even in our everyday relationships, caring deeply about someone comes with risks.
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.
I tend to think that our consistent and authentic actions create our future reality. I also KNOW that my thoughts, words, and moods, form the energy or lack of energy I have for striving and working towards my goals.
When you find a together partner, a "together no matter what" partner, a "together here at the end of the world as we know it" partner... Well, that's when you know you've found your home.
The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.
There is no bridge that's going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.
I like to drive fast. This is a constant opportunity to tap into the irritating nature of the present moment. As I want to go fast (both in the car and in my life) I am always pushing up against the slower cars of the rapidly growing population of our fair city.
What I would like to propose is: give your body and soul what it needs/craves. Try and make healthier choices if you decide a meal or snack is in your best interest. And then, let it go, move on. Keep going. Do a bit more, eat a bit healthier, sleep a bit more, play a lot more, and listen to what your soul and body tell you.