Finding the Positive in 2021 was a challenge. And as we round the corner into the holidays, I'd like to recap my work for the year and see how my sentiment ran for the holistic side of The Whole Parent.
I am learning better how to tap into the power of feelings and how they can motivate me towards doing better, being better. But I'm also too aware of how my feelings can lead me down dark and lonely paths. I am constantly trying to find the balanced walk down the middle.
Mom's don't deserve child support any more than dads do. Federal family law begs to differ, but I believe we should be equal parents across the board: time, money, and custodial rights.
Divorce is painful enough. Let's all share the pain equally and stop putting dads in the straightjacket of the SPO and the typical child support agreement.
I can let go of my side of the problem, right now. And that's my healing. My ex-wife, she's got her own road ahead. I no longer have to take her inventory. I can let her sail her own boat without my input or dependence.
I do intend to marry again. I love the idea. I love being married. And while the first two didn't work out as planned, I have new information and a stronger resolve to be a lifelong partner in the same way I expect my next lover to be.
We could've separated and agreed to a 50/50 parenting and 50/50 custody schedule as I requested. That was more in keeping with the way we parented. But it did not match up with my then-wife's objectives. Those "options" she learned about from the attorney, rather than the options about staying in the relationship she could've learned in the couple's therapy.
Co-parenting is about accepting the other person for who they are, exactly as they are, and holding them in the best light you can.