Dads give their kids different qualities. Dads play differently. Dads love differently. But the assumption that the mom is the emotional center of the family and the dad is the financial engine is outdated and unfair to both the kids and the dad.
I have shown my children how to recover from a loss, and become happier, and more intentional in their lives.
Well, if I’m imagining this next relationship is the LAST ONE, well, that too has its own kind of pressure, that perhaps is just as debilitating as the rushing of the process.
Boundaries are constantly changing between you and your commitments. And people with unhealthy, or unarticulated (unknown or misunderstood) boundaries are more at risk of losing their daily momentum to the will and requests of everyone around them.
Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
When I have done something to disappoint you I will be sad and sorry myself, but it's likely that the opportunity for healing is just below the surface of my triggering action.
BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
If we can see and seek the balanced parenting approach we might be able to continue that holistic love even as the marriage comes apart.