If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
I'm developing a relationship with myself and I will eventually believe that I am loveable. And so will you. And anyone that takes that glow away from you is not worthy of your gifts.
Keep sex out of the game until you are sure you want to give this relationship a long-term shot. Sex clouds everything. Sex blinds us to the red flags that could be burning right before our eyes. When the sex hormones kick in we are no longer capable of making rational decisions.
My influence, now removed, will probably not be missed as they embark on the new adventure, VT, and starting 6th grade. I love you. I will never stop.
When a woman files for divorce a man loses half of his wealth instantly and 70% of his kids' time.
If my friend is staying in the "dating" and "fooling around" mode, he's not going to gain any long-term insights.
"That was amazing. I really loved the way you placed my hands and let me know you were going to come. I'm not worried about my orgasm. I'm happy to keep my fires stoked for the next encounter." Figuring sex out together.
As humans, we have the opportunity to get better at sex. To get more of what we want from our partnership.