Somewhere deeper in that story, the one we never talked about, there was an assumption and agreement that their mom deserved and wanted more time with them. Inherent in the imbalanced divorce is the idea that the non-custodial (30%) parent wants less time with the kids.
While one little agreement will not prevent divorces or unbalanced co-parenting decrees, perhaps new couples will consider how a 50/50 parenting agreement (as a guiding principle) can protect and nurture the children with a balance of both parents' love and care.
I am a safe confidant who can help you sort out the difficulties you are facing. Let's face them together. Let's put a plan together. Let's talk about it.
Don't be afraid to fall in love. Be afraid of not having the opportunity to explore your own heart during those moments when it is bursting with passion and joy, as well as the moments when it is breaking with loss and loneliness.
What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.
In some twisted way, my ex-wife assumed that she was the better parent and thus more entitled to the child support, the house, and the kids' care and feeding. As a good dad, this was just her assumption. Today, her assumption wound probably be supported by state family law. But, I believe times are changing.
Please consider this fact: dads and moms are equally important in a child's life. Yes, there are exceptions. And these days those exceptions cut both ways. So when you are considering divorce and thinking of "going for it" because having more time with your kids would feel good to you, please consider the kids over and above your own needs. Our kids need both of us.
I like to be on top of the world, as most of us do, but I haven't done very well in the past when I sink into "maintenance mode" rather than aspirational mode. What I learned from my last stumble is that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.