Yes. We deserve to burn brightly. We crave that other flame that will bring additional heat and passion and beauty to our lives. However, without our own flame, we are more likely to be looking for a light. That’s the wrong way to enter into a relationship.
"Taking a year to really work on me, and be happy with me..." As Richard rebuilt a house in the Zilker area of Austin, Texas, he was aware of how the house was a metaphor of his self-recovery process. "I worked on the entryway of me. And then I had to work on the inside. I need to open up space, and make space for somebody."
Come listen to an interesting conversation about masculinity, about relationships, about relationship capacity and emotional growth. Our conversation follows Mark from his experience as a man in a failing marriage, through his self-awareness process, and finally his homecoming in a long-term healthy relationship. We're going to talk about a lot of things, but at the heart is how we find and co-create a relationship with a partner.
Keeping sexual communication open throughout your relationship is critical. As one partner starts closing off, and not just having periods of low sexual desire, but shutting down the idea of sex, something is going to break down.
If I believe in a higher plan, if I want to navigate with star maps and not treasure maps, then I can be IN LOVE and AT PEACE even in this painful pause. The pain has a lesson for me. I may learn something new every morning and every evening. I am learning.
The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.
We cannot rescue another person. We should not try. We can stand beside them, or just outside the perimeter of their burning building, and let them know we are holding loving-kindness for them. It's painful, to be in the gap. But sometimes, it's just where we are.
My movie is undergoing a serious rewrite at the moment. Scenes are being deleted, edited, and new actors are being sought out for both lead and supporting roles. Today, on this amazingly beautiful day (from snow last night to tennis in shorts this afternoon) I'm going to loaf for a bit.