If we can rise above our present distress and the distractions of our disappointments, we can appreciate all the layers of the present moment. It's all cake. It may not all be delicious. But our attitude about the cake colors every one of our present moments. It's our attitude about the cake we're being served that gives us the freedom from suffering.
What I am learning this weekend, with my daughter, is that I cannot settle for someone who does not treat me with the love and respect she does. I would hope the same for her, as she moves forward in her life.
Relationships are fun. And now that we have our kids and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. It doesn't have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again.
Let's take the darkness in our own lives and forge wonderful lives, wonderful relationships, and wonderful children. We can do this. I have done it. I am doing it every single day. You can do it as well.
The concept of the hungry and sexually frustrated male is convenient, but not all that helpful in navigating or negotiating an equitable balance in touch and intimacy, both sexual and non-sexual.
I am learning better how to tap into the power of feelings and how they can motivate me towards doing better, being better. But I'm also too aware of how my feelings can lead me down dark and lonely paths. I am constantly trying to find the balanced walk down the middle.
Let's be clear with each other about what we want, what we fantasize about, and what we do not want. Only with that data can we make better and more informed decisions about where to go in our partnership.
There's no hard and fast rule about when it will happen, but eventually, you will be forced to make plans, long-term plans, with your partner. What sort of things do you need to decide together?