Relationships take a lot of work. Dating, online dating, and courtship all have one goal, to give us a Relationship to thrive in. It is hard to find a healthy, attractive, and willing partner. When you do, what happens next is the most important part. I work on relationship-building as a skill set. How can I be a better partner? How can I say with this person for life?
Even before the relationship began to physically disintegrate, we were feeling a bit disconnected. How did we lose what was once so hot and pure? How did the dream die, even as we were trying to be good partners and good stewards of our lover's heart?
The last thing I want is to be crafting new dating profiles in six months or two years. I really deserve a relationship that is based on fundamental compatibility, shared lifestyles and life goals and has the potential to last the rest of my life.
If our intention as single parents is to find a long-term relationship, taking down and deleting the online dating apps is the first step towards a victory dance. So, when you are both delighted to find the time to be together, and you are both expressing desire to find more time, you are well on your way towards establishing the trust that anchors an authentic relationship.
Some questions about touch, sex, and my emotional intelligence: Do I need a woman? Would I be okay alone? Why is it so hard on my core personality to be alone? Am I addicted to love, or physical touch?
In a seemingly random and brutal series of events, my life began a transformative reorientation. I was praying as hard as I could. I was working an entry-level job (that I loved by the way) at a local specialty grocery store, and... horror of all horrors was/am living with my 85 yo, mom.
If she drinks the third glass I begin looking for what I'm going to do that evening when she's fallen asleep. If she asks for water, my mind enters into a different set of fantasies that involve her participation. The real joy is that we've had this discussion.
We've all got issues. Let's own them. Let's take those bastards out and flog them until they no longer flog and confuse us. Own your issues.
I've found it very helpful to remain in the present moment when dating someone new. Try NOT to jump into the future scenarios, the "what ifs" and "what abouts." And when you are thinking that you both want the same thing, do some reality testing.