I’ve officially taken down my dating profiles again. Going to keep this one on the lowdown for a bit. Happier together.

Since October 27th, 2017, things have been quiet here. That is not because nothing has been happening, quite the opposite, in fact. In a seemingly random and brutal series of events, my life began a transformative reorientation. I was praying as hard as I could. I was working an entry-level job (that I loved by the way) at a local specialty grocery store, and… horror of all horrors was/am living with my 85 yo mom. No pity party here, however, this dark night of the soul has caused me to delve even deeper into my childhood trauma and ask even harder questions of myself and my therapists.

Then came February 1st, 2018. Everything changed. On that day I discontinued using seemingly benign sleeping med and woke up from some kind of 3-month emotional coma. While this drug was somewhat euphoric at night, it led to the absolute lack of any joy throughout the following day. I was honestly living from sleeping pill to sleeping pill and working a thankless job in a tragi-comedy fable about the son who failed to launch, launched and failed to launch again. and a mom who kept taking him back in. Something out of Homer’s Oddessy wouldn’t be more epically difficult.

All that to say, my experience with online dating apps Match and OkCupid were getting a little lackluster so I threw caution to the wind and kerosene on the “boost” options of both Tinder and Bumble and … well, metaphorical hell broke loose. I’m here to say, on the last day of February, that the fires have not died down, they have merely scorched away all the remnants of me I used to be before my breakdown/breakup following a three-year relationship and engagement.

Welcome to Online Dating Optimization 2.0 – the series.

I’m ready to tell the tales of the last 4 months. I’m ready to catch you up with today and what’s happening with my friendly ongoing chats with 2 – 3 women and why I deleted all of my dating profiles yesterday. It’s an exciting and somewhat manic story. I hope you learn something right along with me, as I unfold what it means to be a conscious dater in 2018.

Related posts:

• Self-Care and Appreciation: Can I Love All of Myself Right Now?
• 3 Required Traits for Building a Lasting Relationship
• Emotional Intelligence Essentials for Long-Term Relationship Success
• Pausing in the Gap: Trying to Force An Answer Is Not the Way
• 7 Habits of a Sizzling Sex Life: Relationship Building
• The 3-point Formula for Loving Relationships: Where You Lead I Follow

References:

• The 5 Love Languages  Gary Chapman
• Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone – Brené Brown

Further Reading:

• Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
• Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
• A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
• The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
• Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
• The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
• The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End