I wanted 50/50 parenting. Not because of the money, but because that's how we'd raised our kids thus far, that's how we joined in our commitment to have kids in the first place. As long as the laws are written to give the mom the money and the time with the kids, the dads are going to have to fight for their rights to be equally valued in the post-marriage parenting plans.
Father's day was a day of celebration while I was married. As a single dad, it takes on a slightly different tone for me. I'm not sad on Father's Day, but I am reflective of what has become of my parenting relationship. With two teenage kids that live with their mom, my involvement is less than I would like.
I'm not a men's rights activist but am a DADS LIVES MATTER advocate. This game is rigged and the courts know it, the wives know it, and the divorce attorney's who'd rather represent the moms, know it. But that's not the way it should be.
I did not cause my ex-wife's anger and depression. And I'm not causing it now. And the money is not going to fix it. You can't rub money on a lifetime of depression. Sure, the new car will be nice. And, sure, she and her husband won't have to balance the checkbook as carefully.
Whatever the motivation or past, we are now a family in divorce. We have commitments and connections that will never cease between all of us. And in my attempts to heal myself I hope to continue to be a positive influence on my kids and ex's lives. We're in this together. Let's evolve to a higher discussion.
I believe that living with anger, creates an angry life. Showing the angry life to your kids is not the lesson you'd prefer to give them. Discharge your anger however you need to do it, but quit firing poison darts at your co-parent. You are liable to hit one of your kids instead.
Parenting is a journey best shared by both partners. I am strong enough to engage with love and caring and the knowledge, that somehow she believed leaving me out of the loop was the best option for my son.
Co-parenting is a cooperative relationship. When one of the partners decides to be uncooperative it changes the dynamics. However, as a positive parent, you can be the bigger partner. Choosing the positive is about every aspect of your life, and your kids are the most important relationship you can manage.