Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Everything that happened from the moment my then-wife said she’d been to see a lawyer, has delivered me up to be healed in a way that would not have been possible had we stayed together.
I want a woman who is emotionally available, mature, and ready for a relationship. In some cases, what's happenend in my past, is getting too far down the sexual chemistry and hot sex before I've had a chance to understand the long-term compatibility and potential of this partner.
If we find ourselves walking along together, and continually renewing our intentions to get together again, maybe that's enough. I'm really ready for the "ready and centered" woman to show up.
I work with men and women who are looking to reset their priorities in life to align more with their long-term goals. What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? What parts of your life need attention?
Here's what I know. My ex-wife has nothing to do with my happiness or success. My positive approach to life is how I show up for my kids. They are watching us. They are learning from our actions. How we deal with hard times will inform and set their own internal compass for later in life as they run into challenges.
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
More love. Less unspoken and thus unfulfilled expectations. The only way to achieve satisfaction is to let your partner know what you want and then be flexible in how their answer unfolds.
You can start on your own. Write about your early childhood traumas. What are the things that hurt you? What things happened with no adult around to give you safety and comfort? Today, your writing and speaking can re-experience this event with a new more holistic experience.