Drinking is not a problem until it begins to affect your relationship. Only you can determine if your alcohol romance is interfering with your partnership. The drinker must want to change, or not. The codependent non-drinker cannot wait around for the drinker to change. The people in relationships with drinkers, need to find their own comfort, their own strength if they choose to remain with the drinker or not.
Only by running up the hill repeatedly, are you going to find a partner at the top, who's compatible, sexy, and available. It's a rare thing when two people click. That's what we're looking for. The Big CLICK.
Alcohol is a bitch. It feels good. It feels relaxing. The physiological effects are not all good.
Alcohol as medication is a terrible idea. If your drinking is medicinal, it's time to look for safer, more effective ways to cope.
We bend when the winds swirl around us. We agree to be together and to weather the storm. Covid, in some ways, gave me cover for my silence. Many of us "sensitive" people were struck mute by the ravages and fear of the virus as it closed windows, doors, and opportunities.
May you find peace in your life, love in your relationships, and a sipping tequila that you dip into occasionally.
The parents in Marriage Story tried. And when the mom is unable to read the things she loves about her husband, we see her hot flash of realization as she leaves the mediation without engaging in the process.
I believe the quest for love is a spiritual journey. Either your deliberate and intentional about it, or you are just screwing around.
It is only through constant micro-corrections that we can stay engaged, in love, and connected in your primary intimate relationship. We don't ever get a day off from being compassionate and thoughtful. And when you are well-attached to your lover it becomes easier to make choices that move towards their heart rather than away from their heart.