Dating

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Graveyard Whistling: Why Do I Have to Breakup 3 Times to Let Go?

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 20, 2021
Post category:Anger Dating Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

I need to learn to listen when the woman says, "I am really not looking to be in a relationship."

Seven Signs of a Healthy Post-Breakup Relationship

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 20, 2021
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Joy Love Married Life Parenting relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

Relationships are fun. And now that we have our kids and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. It doesn't have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again.

Wayfinding In Love: Listening to What Is Emerging In Your Relationship

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 10, 2021
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

Let's be clear with each other about what we want, what we fantasize about, and what we do not want. Only with that data can we make better and more informed decisions about where to go in our partnership.

The Beauty Trap: How Good Looks Can Lead Us Astray

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 9, 2021
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness Joy Love Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

I could lose myself again, and miss the disconnects that ultimately derailed both my marriages. And whether I get married again or not, is not even relevant. All I have is this time, this moment, and today I am happily plodding along, in spite of the beauty trap

Healing a Broken Heart: Spirit Rising

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 8, 2021
Post category:Dating Joy Love relationship building Relationships Single-Dad Spirituality

There's no hard and fast rule about when it will happen, but eventually, you will be forced to make plans, long-term plans, with your partner. What sort of things do you need to decide together?

Dear Hon: The Whole Parent’s Advice on Love and Relationship-Building

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 7, 2021
Post category:Dating Divorce humans of divorce Joy Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

Defining a "single parent": Dads and Moms who have sole responsibility (not custody) for their kids at any time during the week are SINGLE PARENTS.

Six Rules of Online Dating: Mathematics of Beauty (OkCupid Study)

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:November 6, 2021
Post category:Dating humans of divorce relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

I'd really like to spend my every other Saturday nights wrapped around a lovely and articulate woman. I'm hopeful that I can get my roll right and that eventually, the numbers will come up in my favor.