Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.
Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.
It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.
We need our dads to show up for us, as well as our moms. And when the dad is removed from a family, with the SPO, the balance is shifted dramatically in favor of the "mom as the emotional center" of everyone's lives.
For me, depression is a lot about getting afraid and then continuing to listen to the fear more than the present. I've used some mantras during my walks that have seemed to push me up the hills with more energy and joy. "Further, Stronger, Healthier, and Happier."
I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name grief. Underneath that rage at me, must be sadness. I feel it when I touch the anger inside myself about how I've been treated since the divorce. I'm sad because we were so close. I'm sad because we still share two wonderful children that are affected by such rage and unresolved anger.
Hi, and thanks for being a reader of The Whole Parent. A lot has changed since I started this blog over 5-years ago. My life has been through so many…
That's another part I needed to learn: Listening to what MY body needs. And what it needs right now is a walk, not another cup of coffee. I love PopTarts, but PopTarts don't love me back.
So I am basking in these moments. Storing my own warm times and giving my kids the memory of a Dad who knew how to hang and be flexible and had the strength to throw them high and far into the water.
She is motivated by money. She divorced me when my earning power seemed unable to support her stay-at-home mom fantasy. She was a 10 - 20 hour a week worker. But she wanted me to return to the corporate machine, and I wanted to negotiate an alternate route.
I may not reach serenity with my ex-wife and her new husband ever. That's okay. The serenity is within me. I am doing, have done, and will do the best I can to support my kids and keep my relationship to them above the fray my ex continues to keep seething around us.