She's in control this time. Much more in control than she was in the marriage. Having the angry hammer over my head, must give her some satisfaction, knowing she could precipitate my financial shut down with one phone call.
I have moved into the bedroom too quickly the last two times out. Both relationships taught me huge valuable lessons. And both relationships fulfilled some emptiness I was carrying around when we got together.
And, please, don't aim barbs at your kids meant to hurt your former partner. It never works as expected. Arrows fired at your ex will always affect your children on the way to the target.
Your future is in creating the secure attachment you've always wanted and deserved.
I'm sensing some sort of "shoe ready to drop" but it's all in my mind at this point. It's like PTSD from my past relationships. I don't really recognize when I meet a healthy partner.
I walk away from this story knowing I did everything I could to keep the marriage alive. And after the divorce, I've done everything I can (outside of shutting down my writing) to be a good father, a good man, and a reasonable person.
So with that, even for a week, I am — in theory — off the market, off eHarmony, off the matching of match.com. Because all that “dating” crap is really distracting when what you really want is a friend, not a date.
The love that rebreaks your broken parts so you can rebuild with trust and closeness. The BIG LOVE is a concept, but I'm going to outline how it's also a process for finding the BIG LOVE in your life.