I'm a serial monogamist because I'm hoping to find the next relationship at some point. And that point in the future is very flexible in terms of time, and even in terms of what the person or the relationship looks and feels like.
Get it or not, Tinder is booming. And my experience with two actual in-person meetings was surprisingly good. One hit and one miss. Unfortunately, the hit turned into a false positive, but that's also part of the game.
Being alone is one of the huge bummers of getting a divorce. If you're touch-centered, as I am, the lack of touch is deathly. Hugging hug piles of pillows when I go to bet simulates a lover, but does nothing to fulfill the warmth and closeness needs that many of us have. So what do you do when you're lonely?
Get yourself a map of the man you want to find. Imagine the man, imagine a man, imagine your man, and then do the work to get yourself in the best shape (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) of your life, so that when he shows up he will notice you.
I can still have those lusty feelings, recognize them for what they are, appreciate the woman who triggered them, and the move on with my life as I am rebuilding it.
You've gotta get out there to get over yourself. It's in the relating to a real woman in a real setting that things might become interesting.
There was something hopeful about imagining hundreds of women who were looking for a relationship. I wanted to dip my toe in the water and see what they looked like.
Fatherhood Wide Open podcast interviews John McElhenney about becoming the best single dad possible.