I'm sensing some sort of "shoe ready to drop" but it's all in my mind at this point. It's like PTSD from my past relationships. I don't really recognize when I meet a healthy partner.
Getting into a relationship with a willing and joyful partner is only the first step. Building a relationship from scratch is about communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
My influence, now removed, will probably not be missed as they embark on the new adventure, VT, and starting 6th grade. I love you. I will never stop.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
It's hard to understand what JOY + JOY feels like when you've only experienced less. Once. you know it, however, you're never going to settle for "meh" or "okay."
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.