Even before the relationship began to physically disintegrate, we were feeling a bit disconnected. How did we lose what was once so hot and pure? How did the dream die, even as we were trying to be good partners and good stewards of our lover's heart?
If our intention as single parents is to find a long-term relationship, taking down and deleting the online dating apps is the first step towards a victory dance. So, when you are both delighted to find the time to be together, and you are both expressing desire to find more time, you are well on your way towards establishing the trust that anchors an authentic relationship.
In a seemingly random and brutal series of events, my life began a transformative reorientation. I was praying as hard as I could. I was working an entry-level job (that I loved by the way) at a local specialty grocery store, and... horror of all horrors was/am living with my 85 yo, mom.
We've all got issues. Let's own them. Let's take those bastards out and flog them until they no longer flog and confuse us. Own your issues.
I've found it very helpful to remain in the present moment when dating someone new. Try NOT to jump into the future scenarios, the "what ifs" and "what abouts." And when you are thinking that you both want the same thing, do some reality testing.
Dads understand parenting. Dads understand moms. Dads who are working at being good men are also looking to build a relationship on trust, vulnerability, and openness.
In a relationship that is not quite right, we (I am) are constantly on guard for things to begin going wrong. And either you work through those issues together or you don't. And if you don't you will be miserable trying to stay together. Better to move on.
Let's find the lighter path together. And if we find ourselves walking along it together, and continually renewing our intentions to get together again, maybe that's enough. I'm really ready for the "ready and centered" woman to show up.