So let's make a pact, in our next round of dating "work" I want to commit to pursuing only the clear YES women. Everything else is a distraction. If I am interested in a relationship, that's going to take time, patience, perspective, and the right YES woman.
What is working and what is broken in the modern maelstrom of online dating apps and sites. We need an evolutionary approach to finding and building a relationship.
Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
The final part of finding the love of your life, is to let go of all other relationships. Do not compromise in your love life. Any little miss in your present moment will become a roadblock in the future.
Is your dating profile authentic? Are there parts of your presentation that need work? Are you asking for the right things in your future partner? And if these things are good, how are we going to filter through the chaff and find each other, online?
What does it look like when you are happy? What are you doing? If your best case scenario involves continuing to do that (play tennis, in my case) then perhaps you need to look into participating more. The apps are okay for spreading your reach and resetting your ambition, but you need to be doing your dream first, then the right person might come along beside you on a bike ride and say, "Hello."
Online dating is hard. And, I believe it's hard in different ways for men and women. Here's what I understand to be the state of dating in the world of apps and sites.
It's a long and exciting road towards the next romance in my life. The woman who I find has to be ready and energetic enough to keep up with me and my delusions of grandeur. And she will probably have delusions of her own.