Once your kids are out of the house, learning to find yourself and what makes you happy, is much more important than seeking your next sexual partner. In fact, I believe the first step to divorce or breakup recovery is finding your own inner joy again.
In this moment, I am complete. I have kissed, I have snuggled, I have had a cup of coffee and I am comfortably writing about my love while my love sleeps in my bed. This is a perfect moment.
Having an orgasm for me, during sex, is a function of tuning into my partner's directions and hints and basking in the experience of feeling every inch of their body.
Connected sex is what I'm after and what drives my fulfilling feelings. I get closeness from sex. I get relaxation and bonding from sex. And with my wiring (my Love Language is touch) sex or "skin time" is important. But skin time can be cuddling. Or hugging and kissing on the couch.