Dear Lover, Now That You’ve Arrived We Can Begin
Not everything needs to be worked out all the time. And, for the most part, I can trigger unhappy feelings for you, but the deep sadness or anger you feel, is probably not because of me.
Not everything needs to be worked out all the time. And, for the most part, I can trigger unhappy feelings for you, but the deep sadness or anger you feel, is probably not because of me.
Let's do this TOGETHER. It's much easier if we're on the side of our kids and not against one another.
For the last years of his life, my buddy will do whatever he does as an old dog. I will watch him zigzagging around the back yard and try to remain happy for him rather than sad for him. I will love on him as much as I can. And I'll be aware of how my emotional attachments and complaints are mine alone. He's a dog.
Dads are equal parents. Some dads are deadbeat dads. Some moms are deadbeat moms. Some parents are assholes. Let's not be assholes to each other.
As our kids grow up, our past transgressions and lies will come back to haunt us. I don't think I've lied to them, other than the agreed upon lie (giving my wife the all-important cover) that the divorce was a mutual decision. It was not.
If you've got time ahead, and you're committed to the partnership, you have plenty of time to get the details right, if you stay on the path toward togetherness and building the "WE."
"I understand I have disappointed you. And that's okay. You are disappointed. Let's talk about what we're going to do next."
When divorce is amicable there's a chance for equal parenting. When a divorce starts with Dads getting 30% of the time and 100% of the expenses there is little incentive for moms to be fair.