When one parent checks out their options for divorce, they are beginning the process of separation and exit from the relationship. And hey, if they like the divorce brochure the attorney lays before them, they might even start leaning into divorce.
At some point along the way, I fell behind on my child support payments. I tried to be clear and honest about the situation. I asked for a bit of leeway in how I would repay her. And for whatever reason (I don't think it's healthy or helpful to say what another person is thinking) she felt it was in the best interest of the kids to file our decree with the Attorney General's office.
She is motivated by money. She divorced me when my earning power seemed unable to support her stay-at-home mom fantasy. She was a 10 - 20 hour a week worker. But she wanted me to return to the corporate machine, and I wanted to negotiate an alternate route.
You can't control the other parent. But you can choose your response. If you can diffuse the urgency and your need to be right, smart, witty, or even a jerk, you will go along way towards lessening the drama and making things easier for both you and your kids.
Suffering under massive financial hardship due to the initial divorce decree can be important for your survival and ability to thrive in your new life. Sure, you're going to court, but you had to do this in some form before to get divorced, and if it's absolutely necessary, at least make it as non-confrontational as possible.