My kids would've gotten a better version of me. We would've stayed a bit closer as a family, even after I left, because the bills would all be split. And my house would've been just as comfortable as mom's house.
I have shown my children how to recover from a loss, and become happier, and more intentional in their lives.
Sure, I believe my ex wants our kids to be healthy and happy. And somewhere she got in her mind that being the PRIMARY PARENT after the divorce was *in the best interest of the children.*
BOTH partners need to be willing, have intentionality towards building a sustainable relationship, and then have the TIME to spend building the WE.
But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Today, nearly a year later, I am still a deadbeat dad on the record. Despite several calls to the AG's office and several agreements to resolve and close the child support account, I am still in arrears by $1.39.
I genuinely believe that family laws are corrupt and need to be reset to start at 50/50 parenting with no child support. I love helping moms understand single dads and how to relate to them.
The loss of my kids as a 30% dad was not my choice. The ongoing bs of resentment and entitlement was not about me. My ex-wife's anger and resentment, here 11-years later, is 100% self-inflicted.