The Whole Parent

Loving the Body: Size, Weight, Color, Age, Fitness, Happiness

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 6, 2013
Post category:Health and Fitness Self-care Single-Dad
Post comments:2 Comments

We have been programmed to think skinny and young is the only measure of beauty. That's kind of crazy since my opportunity or desire to be with a twenty-year-old is near zero. I'm looking for a mom, who's happy and radiant, and in her forties or early fifties. And I'm prepared to meet her halfway between the perfect body and working on it. We are in this for the long haul. And I guess, as over 50-ish people, we will always be "working on it."

That Holiday Feeling After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 5, 2013
Post category:Uncategorized
Post comments:6 Comments

I could not have negotiated a free weekend while I was married. I mean, I could've, but it would've been a real stretch for both of us. Today... Well, divorced,…

The New Father’s Day: My Day of the Week After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 3, 2013
Post category:Uncategorized
Post comments:1 Comment

The SPO, or Standard Possession Order is what 90% of most co-parents will agree to. It's not 50/50, but over time, the courts have determined it is the easiest schedule for fractured families to adhere to. I'm not always sure I shouldn't have fought a little bit for something more equitable, but this is what we've got.

Finding the Happy Side of Difficult Divorce Street – FLIP IT

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 1, 2013
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Health and Fitness Joy Money Parenting Self-care Single-Dad
Post comments:0 Comments

There is no time like the present to flip your anger into absurd, cackling, fake laughter. It's a known fact that your physical body doesn't really know the difference between real laughter and fake laughter. So if you give a big ol' Pee Wee Herman laugh, your body really thinks you are laughing. The endorphins and physical joy comes back into your system, fires up the happy side of your brain, and can bring you part of the way back to center.

Moving from Parenting To Co-parenting: Joining Together In Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 29, 2013
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Money Parenting relationship building Self-care Single-Dad
Post comments:0 Comments

But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.

I Love You, Dad

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 25, 2013
Post category:Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness Married Life Parenting Spirituality
Post comments:1 Comment

And at that moment, I also felt the joy of my father's love upon me. He might have left the planet 15 years ago, but his love is still within me. And each time I can really hear and connect with my own kids, my heart lights up with a little bit more healing of my 5-year-old self, my wounded little boy.

Co-parenting Is Not Always Easy, But We Have a Choice

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 25, 2013
Post category:Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Money Self-care Single-Dad
Post comments:0 Comments

So much of co-parenting is about negotiation and compromise. We no longer have the same loving emotional ties to our former partners. We no longer have to make their urgency and priorities our own.

Pause and Reset After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 24, 2013
Post category:Uncategorized
Post comments:0 Comments

So in walking away from my marriage, I am continuing to learn, that this is MY SHIT. Whatever it is I'm dealing with at the moment, she is not the cause nor the cure of the situation. I am the only one who can take action on my behalf.