Getting Good At Blameless Breakups: Online Dating Challenges

The goal is never to blame the other person for the breakup, even if they were the reason you are breaking up. Always take your responsibility for the miss. And make it about the chemistry, the mix, the overall relationship and not about them or their poor behavior. Remember, you are leaving the relationship, not trying to teach them a lesson or educate them.

Continue ReadingGetting Good At Blameless Breakups: Online Dating Challenges

Giving Your Co-parent a Break: Think About the Kids, Not About Your Ex

Hitting delete instead of send can make all the difference. I had another one of those moments this morning. An email from the mother of my children saying┬ásome passive-aggressive things…

Continue ReadingGiving Your Co-parent a Break: Think About the Kids, Not About Your Ex

Loss of the Proximity Effect as a Divorced Dad

I'm watching my kids grow up from a distance, and it's painful. Sure, I have the standard possession order, the simple divorce equation for 80% of dads. But we're getting the raw end of the deal. Actually, divorce is the rawest end of the deal, but once that's determined, the only thing you can do is hope for maximizing your time with your kids. Still, it's not enough.

Continue ReadingLoss of the Proximity Effect as a Divorced Dad

Where Did Your Heart Go After We Got Married?

Still, I'm not sure where her playful person went. I was offering new ideas while I was also trying to accommodate her "clean house" and "stable bank account" requirements. But I don't think she ever put a LOVE LIST together.

Continue ReadingWhere Did Your Heart Go After We Got Married?

Rebuilding Myself Into the Person I Was Before We Married

The main thing to remember as the divorce s-storm is heading your way is to take care of yourself. Like on the airplane when they say to put your mask on first and then your kid's masks. That's so you are conscious to be able to help them. Divorce is the same way. Take the time you need before jumping back into a relationship. Enjoy your freedom. Explore your alone time.

Continue ReadingRebuilding Myself Into the Person I Was Before We Married

Dear Daughter, We’ll Catch Up on Thursday

You see, I notice when you are gone. Not to be creepy or anything, but I notice you are not here every day. And I can tell sometimes, when we are together, that you too are longing for more time. So let's make the most of what we do have.

Continue ReadingDear Daughter, We’ll Catch Up on Thursday

The 5 Stages of Dating Again After Divorce: Letting Go of Expectations

I'm not all that good at dating yet. I mean, I don't really know how to BE. I try to be "myself" of course, but I'm too involved, too hyper, too talkative. I don't listen as well as I should. But the part of the problem, that I'm just beginning to understand, is my habit of projecting any "potential" relationship off into some imaginary future. What I mean is, I sometimes have a problem staying present.

Continue ReadingThe 5 Stages of Dating Again After Divorce: Letting Go of Expectations