Announcing the Deep Dive Podcast of The Whole Parent. Free discussions about the most important articles on The Whole Parent. Here are the conversations so far.
EPISODE 1: I Am a Red Flag – Dating a Relationship Blogger [listen now]
An honest reflection on this divorced dad’s experiences with dating after divorce. He lists his own potential relationship flaws, including being a relationship blogger and needing constant personal growth from a partner. McElhenney emphasizes the importance of self-love and personal growth before seeking a new relationship, highlighting the need for balance and mutual effort in partnerships. He encourages introspection and self-awareness in finding fulfilling relationships. The post concludes with his optimistic outlook on finding love again.
EPISODE 2: Starting @ Zero Dating Again for the Recently Single [listen now]
Here is some great advice on rebuilding relationships after a breakup. It emphasizes self-work and personal responsibility, arguing that partners cannot fix each other’s problems. The author outlines essential qualities for a healthy relationship, including mutual attraction, sufficient time commitment, and a willingness to address personal issues. The piece also details fundamental relationship-building skills, such as owning mistakes and seeking alone time when needed. Finally, it offers guidance on recognizing positive signs in early dating stages, encouraging readers to approach dating with realistic expectations and self-awareness.
EPISODE 3: Kissing Frogs and Seeking Kindness [listen now]
Advice on online dating, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection before beginning the search for a partner. McElhenney suggests creating “aspirational partner lists” to clarify desired traits and “must-have” and “deal-breaker” lists to avoid wasting time. He argues that successful dating involves knowing oneself, identifying one’s values, and actively participating in activities that align with one’s interests, rather than passively swiping on dating apps. Ultimately, he promotes a proactive, self-aware approach to finding a compatible long-term partner.
EPISODE 4: The HOT HOT HEAT Test [listen now]
Let’s discuss the pitfalls of fast-paced online dating. He describes a personal experience where an intense initial connection quickly fizzled, highlighting the dangers of prioritizing immediate sexual chemistry over genuine compatibility. McElhenney proposes a “Hot Hot Heat Test,” encouraging readers to identify red flags and slow down the dating process to avoid impulsive decisions driven by unhealed trauma. His advice emphasizes self-reflection, mindful communication, and prioritizing compatibility over initial excitement to build lasting relationships. He suggests delaying intimacy to allow for a better assessment of potential partners.
EPISODE 5: Seven Laws of a Healthy Relationship [listen now]
Here are seven principles for building healthy relationships. John emphasizes the importance of shared joy, open communication, finding common ground, and negotiating conflicts. McElhenney also stresses the need for fearless honesty, consistently turning towards one’s partner, and establishing a shared plan for the relationship. The message promotes active participation and mutual commitment for a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
EPISODE 6: Sexual Fulfillment: Let’s Find Out Together [listen now]
John McElhenney, a life coach, challenges conventional views on sex and intimacy. He argues that focusing solely on orgasm diminishes the overall experience of making love. McElhenney emphasizes the importance of prioritizing connection, communication, and mutual pleasure over achieving orgasm. He contends that pornography presents unrealistic expectations and harmful models of sex, advocating for a more compassionate and humanistic approach to intimacy. The author shares his journey in shifting his focus from orgasm to the broader experience of making love, suggesting this change enhances intimacy and connection with his partner. Finally, he encourages readers to explore their own preferences and communicate openly with partners to foster a more fulfilling sexual experience.
EPISODE 7: Hierarchy of Relationship Needs [listen now]
John McElhenney outlines his hierarchy of relationship needs, which he divides into four levels: physical fitness, attractiveness (smile), intelligence (mental acuity), and joy. He argues that these levels build upon each other, with joy being the ultimate indicator of a compatible partner. McElhenney emphasizes the importance of seeking a partner who shares his zest for life and purpose, contrasting this with the pitfalls of settling for “average” relationships. The author uses his personal experiences with online dating to illustrate his points, suggesting that a strong connection based on shared joy is more crucial than superficial attributes. He concludes by advocating for seeking a partner who embodies these qualities, emphasizing that lasting relationships stem from genuine connection.
EPISODE 8: Kissing Frogs to Find Love [listen now]
John McElhenney discusses building healthy relationships after a relationship setback. He emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, identifying red flags early on, and taking time to assess compatibility rather than rushing into commitment. McElhenney stresses the need for mutual investment of time and energy, clear communication about needs, and recognizing when a relationship isn’t meeting those needs. He advocates for patience, setting boundaries, and maintaining individual identities within the relationship. The post concludes with his personal desire for a partner who prioritizes the relationship and reciprocates effort.
EPISODE 9: Keeping Your Cool When Your Lover is On Fire [listen now]
John McElhenney, a life coach, explores the complexities of anger in relationships, particularly focusing on how past experiences, especially with parental figures, shape reactions to anger in adulthood. He contrasts men’s and women’s responses to anger, highlighting the impact of unresolved anger in romantic partnerships and professional settings. McElhenney emphasizes the importance of processing anger constructively to foster healthier relationships and prevent destructive behaviors. He offers advice on repairing damaged trust after angry outbursts and stresses the individual responsibility for managing one’s own anger.
EPISODE 10: Learning to Love Again in the Present Moment [listen now]
John McElhenney explores the author’s personal experiences with romantic love, particularly his tendency toward intense, sometimes overwhelming, emotional expression. He examines the pitfalls of romanticizing relationships and the importance of self-awareness in achieving healthy connections. McElhenney emphasizes the need to balance passionate feelings with realistic expectations and to maintain independence in a relationship. He advocates for mindfulness and present-moment focus as tools for navigating love’s complexities. The post also touches upon his struggles with over-communication and managing his creative impulses within romantic relationships.
EPISODE 11: The Container Method for Couples [listen now]
This article presents the “Container Method” for improving communication in relationships, a technique where one partner shares their feelings while the other actively listens and reflects back what they’ve heard. The method emphasizes creating a safe space for emotional expression without personal attacks. It’s complemented by Brené Brown’s “BRAVING” framework, which focuses on individual responsibility for managing emotions and avoiding blaming partners for triggering past traumas. The overall goal is to foster empathy, understanding, and collaborative problem-solving, ultimately leading to stronger, more connected relationships. The author, a life coach, advocates for slowing down, using these tools, and prioritizing respectful communication.
EPISODE 13: Inviting the Dino into Your Divorce [listen now]
John McElhenney, a life coach, outlines a his experiences with his ex-wife weaponizing the child support system in Texas after their divorce. He details his struggles with inconsistent employment impacting his ability to meet child support obligations, and his ex-wife’s use of the Attorney General’s office to enforce payments. The author uses the metaphor of a “dinosaur” to represent the unwieldy and persistent nature of the legal process. He shares his frustrations and lessons learned navigating this challenging co-parenting situation, ultimately emphasizing the importance of prioritizing his children’s well-being above personal animosity. He offers advice to others facing similar challenges, stressing communication and patience.
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Always Love,
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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