i may never understand the full loss for all of us i may never quit saying i'm sorry even to myself and the cat and dog
Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
- Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad
- The Father Son Emotional Loop: Struggling As a Single Dad
- The Single Dad Afterglow: I Lost My Kids In the Divorce
- Seeking Happy: A Single Dad Explains His Joyousness
- What Women Want to Know About Single Dads, From a Single Dad
- A Single Dad Sends His Hope and Greetings from the Other Side
- Healing My Divorce Resentment: A Single Dad Contemplates the Future
- Reaching a Moment of Peace and Happiness As a Single Dad
- Loss, Sadness, and Indifference: Struggles of a Single Dad
Even though it can be difficult at times, continuing my role as a supportive and cooperative partner is in the best interest of my kids. It's really in the best interest for me as well. A happy ex-wife is much better than an angry one.
What I can do as a dad is heal my own Little Man inside and give a place for my son's Little Man to get expressed and released. That will come later. But I know that I am doing everything to show up for MY little man as he grows into a young man and on.
My dad died when I was 21 years old. He was afraid to die. And he was angry at God and the world for allowing his death to happen. He was no longer angry at me. He was no longer capable of being a scary figure in my life. He was small, curled up, and very angry. But like today's man, he was no longer capable of hurting me with his anger.
Recalibrating our taste in a mate is difficult with all of these examples showing us what we should desire. Women have unrealistic expectations, that is draining all the life out of many of them as they try to perfect something in themselves. Abs, for example, may not be that important to their actual happiness. And men, well, expectations cut in our direction as well. The images of desirable men are everywhere as well. But they are not as rigid.
I look forward to having another opportunity to learn about myself "in a relationship" at some point. I'm happy and patient right where I am. But I believe by having my priorities clear and articulated I can do a better job of finding and sorting through the process of finding that NEXT RELATIONSHIP. I wait enthusiastically.
Live your life as you would like to see your kids living theirs. Show them the adults they can be, by demonstrating the best that you can be. Anything less is a miss. Parenting and co-parenting resources come and go, theories of parenting and how do recover from divorce will change from season to season, but this truth never changes.
There are a lot of details to work out. And rushing into that process while throwing your kids and current family structure under the bus is not a good idea.