Dads After Divorce: Never Give Up (But) Do Stop Fighting
As we move forward as "this half" of the family, I am certain that my best time with my kids is ahead of me. And that's all the good news you need to hear today. Keep going.
Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
As we move forward as "this half" of the family, I am certain that my best time with my kids is ahead of me. And that's all the good news you need to hear today. Keep going.
My actions and words are all I can control. My goal is to always do my best. And give everyone around me their own agency to make plans, change plans, and find their own way forward.
My movie is undergoing a serious rewrite at the moment. Scenes are being deleted, edited, and new actors are being sought out for both lead and supporting roles. Today, on this amazingly beautiful day (from snow last night to tennis in shorts this afternoon) I'm going to loaf for a bit.
We're all walking down our own little hallways. We're all singing our inner songs. And we're probably all a bit distracted and unsure of exactly where we should go. We know the way to our homeroom. We may not be sure about how to navigate the rainy Fridays along the way.
In middle school my daughter would often call me during the school day saying she could not reach her mom, or get a call back, for something required for a field trip. I would make the call.
I can take a break from her blasting texts. I can hold my boundary. I will try again tomorrow. That's usually my mantra.
Only through adventuring together, only through giving it a 100% shot and not holding back, are we capable of discovering a partner who is willing and capable of going there with us.
Finding and keeping love is about going to the well every single time. And when you find fire pouring accelerant on it by really, fully, and truly, asking for what you want. You must go for it to get it.