Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
I will not settle for average and I hope you will not either. Average will get you down the road a bit, but it's not the lasting relationship you are looking for. That's one of the reasons dating can be difficult. We don't want to be alone so we might go on a lot of average dates.
Don't give up. Keep positive. Learn to express your wants and needs, and understand why they are two different things.
Are you able to move towards your partner, your relationship, your co-creation of a shared vision? As long as the answer is "YES" from both of you the journey of discovery can continue.
If we're going to find our path together we're going to need to revisit our plans, open our minds and hearts. If there's a mismatch, we have to be willing to evolve or let go.
In a loving relationship, I can grow to be a happier version of myself. I think that's what we're all hungry for. Being happier in our lives. For me, this involves a romantic relationship.
There are plenty of times when it's difficult not being with my kids. But what I can give them is 110% dad when they are with me. I have the rest of the time, when they are not with me, to heal and focus on myself and my goals.
I am here. I am alone. I am desirous of a new relationship. I also have a lot of creative projects spinning up, at the moment.
The only real work for me, today, is to take care of my own recovery, my own addictive tendencies, my own spiritual, emotional, and physical relationships.