Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.
There's no reason moms should assume 70% of the kid-time and get a hefty monthly payment. Let's equalize divorce so the kids get equal access to both parents.
Anger is energy. Learn to deal with it and channel it towards something you want. Any anger directed back at your ex is anger that will return to you ten-fold when you are in dire need of support. So a prayer. Our kids are a gift. My ex is blameless in her journey forward, and it is in my best interest to support her and the kids with everything I've got.
IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: Ask yourself in moments of doubt, "Is this towards my higher purpose, or away from my higher purpose?" Then choose accordingly.
Alone I am able to focus on these thing without distraction. I have no other pulls on my time and energy. Alone my general state is happy. But I long for a lover and companion.
Here's what that looks like. About 2 - 3 times a year, they freeze my bank accounts. I call them. They ask how much money is in the accounts. (As if they don't know.) Then they take 50% of everything I have. And in the course of the next few days, my banks will unfreeze the rest of the money. Effectively, I am left with zero dollars.
I understand not being ready for a relationship. I understand taking your time getting to know someone. And I'm glad she did seek me out so we could have a few of these illuminating conversations in-person, but it's clear to me she was NOT a touch-oriented person, and as I asked about her love language twice, that was enough to trigger the "not developing" email.
She got the house, the kids, and the money. She played nice for about a year and a half. Then she got greedy. She didn't like my new prosperity and happiness.