Finding a Balance In Life: Extreme Highs Have Consequences
Perhaps today is a day of rest. A day of appreciating exactly where I am, sitting beside my girlfriend's dog writing a little note of appreciation to myself.
Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
Perhaps today is a day of rest. A day of appreciating exactly where I am, sitting beside my girlfriend's dog writing a little note of appreciation to myself.
Dating is simple. Relationships are hard work. Well, they can be hard work, or they can be temporarily effortless. I think that's what we're imagining when we jump back into the dating pool again. We remember the highs of love crushes, the sex, the joy, the "hi, I am soooo glad to see you" feelings that are bantered back and forth when you are establishing a new love relationship.
Is your dating profile authentic? Are there parts of your presentation that need work? Are you asking for the right things in your future partner? And if these things are good, how are we going to filter through the chaff and find each other, online?
Without a solid self-awareness and a good road map of what you're looking for in a relationship, you might begin to feel dating (or online dating) is crap. That might be the case, but it's also a reality that tons of people move on from bad relationships, and find healthy relationships all the time. It takes work.
I'm almost always hopeful and joyous about this new journey. As a single dad, I have more time and more complications than when I was married. And if we can find the balance of these three traits between us, perhaps we can build "what's next" together.
What are some ways you can nurture your loving relationship every single day of this month? And then, continue next month. And forever.
I am convinced that through active participation and a cooperative approach to love, I can establish and maintain a loving partnership on into my later years. To be walking on a beach somewhere, with my partner, and doting on our grandkids and our kids, together.
We want to show up in our relationships fully formed, fully empowered, and fully healed. If one of the partners is struggling or has less experience, it's important to notice the imbalance, and yet not label it as "their problem" vs "your problem."