It would be great to think we have evolved beyond Hot or Not, but really it’s hard-wired. The immediate reaction that we label “chemistry” is really a swipe to the left “nope” or a swipe to the right “yes.” It’s what happens next that is more important.
And so we divorced. I was not happy about it. And though I swear I'm moving on, I don't guess I will ever fully be OVER it. I mean, what am I doing tonight? Seeing if a date is going to materialize through the texts and emails I'm exchanging with someone from Match.com. And I'd rather be hanging with my kids: chatting about their day, their projects, their hopes and dreams. Much like the past five days of this dad-weekend.
The more amazing thing about finding love again is when you find the flow of energy and affirmations is easily expressed by both partners. This new connection is stronger and purer than anything I've experienced in my life.
I wanted 50/50 parenting. Not because of the money, but because that's how we'd raised our kids thus far, that's how we joined in our commitment to have kids in the first place. As long as the laws are written to give the mom the money and the time with the kids, the dads are going to have to fight for their rights to be equally valued in the post-marriage parenting plans.
What I can do, is fight a bit for what I think is right. I can let the AG's office thrash at me a bit longer. I can begin paying my monthly obligations like clockwork to keep their enforcement tools from dropping all my bank accounts to zero. Today, I can begin fighting back for future fathers. And, today, I can work towards a tiny balance of power surrounding the child support debt I owe.
Father's day was a day of celebration while I was married. As a single dad, it takes on a slightly different tone for me. I'm not sad on Father's Day, but I am reflective of what has become of my parenting relationship. With two teenage kids that live with their mom, my involvement is less than I would like.
Divorce is hard. Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I've found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are…
I'm not a men's rights activist but am a DADS LIVES MATTER advocate. This game is rigged and the courts know it, the wives know it, and the divorce attorney's who'd rather represent the moms, know it. But that's not the way it should be.