Give your partner the ravishing they are longing for and you might get your connection needs met at the same time. A win-win.
But I'm curious, for a population in their 40s - 50s, with "families" already established if the sexual drive is more similar in men and women? Do we both enjoy the sexual thoughts that come from people watching? Aren't we essentially doing the same thing? Asking that tried and true question of our inexperienced, and pre-family youth, "Would ya do them?"
Are you sexually fulfilled in your relationship? Can you make a request of your partner, to help get you closer, more excited about sex compromises are you willing to accept about sex as you move forward in the relationship?
Stay focused in the present moment, but do allow yourself to dream and project into the future with your partner. Opening those doors of dreaming together has been a gateway of power for us.
I am not willing to spend all of my free weeknights going for coffee with women that are marginally compatible. But back in the summer of escape velocity, I tried and tried and tried. It was exhausting.
I look forward to having another opportunity to learn about myself "in a relationship" at some point. I'm happy and patient right where I am. But I believe by having my priorities clear and articulated I can do a better job of finding and sorting through the process of finding that NEXT RELATIONSHIP. I wait enthusiastically.