We stand alone is a relationship. But in a relationship, we also stand beside a spiritual partner, teacher, lover. In a relationship, we can transcend our isolation and truly feel loved.
I was having a hard time maintaining a healthy relationship with myself, why would I want to bring someone else into my fractured life? I answered my own frustration by shutting down all of my profiles.
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.
But, with each of my last three relationships, I learned some fundamental truths about myself in a relationship. I am not surprised that dating has little or no allure. I had such a wonderful partner. I learned what if felt like to be loved with abandon and openness. And I learned how far I could go before I broke down over the disconnections that continued to happen.
There is no DAY OFF in a loving relationship. There may be easy days and hard days, but every day is an opportunity to turn towards your lover and say, "I love you," as well as "I need you." It is in that place of vulnerability and honesty that we will find the true gift of a loving relationship.
I believe the quest for love is a spiritual journey. Either your deliberate and intentional about it, or you are just screwing around.
Both of us have pasts. Both of us have dealt with our pasts to the point that we are ready to engage and fly with another person. A passionate kiss is a rare and precious gift.