Self-care takes many forms. What we know, is most of us do not take enough time off. We drink coffee to fuel our days and interrupt our nights. Self-care is the process of unwinding ourselves from the rat race and giving our bodies and our souls time to recharge, play, and be quiet.
How do you reconcile being removed from the typical family Christmas? How do you deal with the 22 days a month that you have little or no contact with your children? How do you afford ANY Christmas presents when you're struggling to buy gas?
If your kids are old enough, talk to them about how they would like to do Christmas within the schedule you and the other parent have determined. Over time, it does get better. But while things are fresh and hard, make sure you take care of yourself first.
I am pro-mom, but I'm more pro-family. If we agree to have kids it's 50/50 forever. Anything less, and I would not have agreed to have kids in the first place.
It's not about cheating in the biblical sense, it's about cheating them out of the full, authentic, and attentive you.
What I would like to propose is: give your body and soul what it needs/craves. Try and make healthier choices if you decide a meal or snack is in your best interest. And then, let it go, move on. Keep going. Do a bit more, eat a bit healthier, sleep a bit more, play a lot more, and listen to what your soul and body tell you.
This is my story, from the joy and spiritual awakening of becoming a sad dad at the moment I became a divorced dad. My journey was not easy. I stumbled, I fell, and I wrestled my way back from a dark depressive episode and into a whole parent.
Let's both decide where to go in our future. Let's both listen to what the other person wants, rather than assuming we know. And let's get away from the swiping frenzy and into the process of building a lasting relationship. Swiping is not the enemy, but don't forget your long-term goals.
My ex-wife knows I am paying and will continue to pay my child support until my daughter turns 18. She wants to keep me under the thumb of the "enforcement" of Title IV-D because hurting me gives her pleasure.