Self-care takes many forms. What we know, is most of us do not take enough time off. We drink coffee to fuel our days and interrupt our nights. Self-care is the process of unwinding ourselves from the rat race and giving our bodies and our souls time to recharge, play, and be quiet.

The Four Simple Rules for Parents Getting Divorced

Also, as the man in the divorce, you have an opportunity to lead the process with grace and empathy. You cannot control how your ex behaves, the only thing you can control is your own response to the challenges ahead.

Continue ReadingThe Four Simple Rules for Parents Getting Divorced

Men and Divorce with Children: My 9-year Retrospective

I suppose a pound of flesh is tasty when it is grilled over a flame of resentment and anger. She is acting out of spite and vitriol at this point. Again, she got what she wanted and she still came after me with the AG's office.

Continue ReadingMen and Divorce with Children: My 9-year Retrospective

Letting Go of Dreams Update – Celebrating The Whole Parent Year Six

Divorce is not something you just "get over." And with kids, you never really get over it. I am learning to continuously forgive and forge ahead with my own life as a single dad.

Continue ReadingLetting Go of Dreams Update – Celebrating The Whole Parent Year Six

Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce

I do think my ex-wife and I could've agreed to 50/50 parenting and gotten a judge to sign off on our agreement. But she would never have given up her legal/strategic advantage. Perhaps she was doing what she thought was best for the children. Perhaps. But I think she was more self-centered than that, she was doing what she wanted, regardless of the impact on the kids.

Continue ReadingFinding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce

Taking the Long Way Home: My Divorce Journey Back to Joy

What I wanted (what I want) is stability and trust. What I want is something more authentic than I had in my marriage or with my fiance. What I want is someone who can lean into the troubles and work them out. What I want is someone who can express affection easily and frequently.

Continue ReadingTaking the Long Way Home: My Divorce Journey Back to Joy

Fall Arrives: Pulling Back the Curtain on The Off Parent

There is nothing to talk to my ex-wife about. That "friendly" concept was nice but has been firmly and explicatively rejected by her and her husband. And as I walk away from the wreckage of my co-parenting smashup, I am letting the curtain fall.

Continue ReadingFall Arrives: Pulling Back the Curtain on The Off Parent

Tenderness and the Heart of Gold: The Gift of Dating a Single Dad

Don't let any of your shit fester and darken your experience of life. Life is too short to be compromising with someone you don't love 100%. Oh, and it's your responsibility to love them at 100%. It is your intention and actions, for the rest of your life, that will determine the success of your next relationship.

Continue ReadingTenderness and the Heart of Gold: The Gift of Dating a Single Dad