Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
In spite of the anger and resentment, you've got to drop your psychological work elsewhere. Your kids don't have any skills for dealing with your sadness or anger, and your ex has got better things to do.
You can win at divorce, but only by staying to the high road in all interactions. Now is my chance to get on with MY living as a dad, as a boyfriend, and as an ex-husband. Let me do the best at all three.
Once she met with the lawyer, the divorce strategy was planted in her mind. The encouragement from the attorney who wanted the new business, might be too hard to resist.
You deserve a kick-ass relationship. You deserve honesty, monogamy, and awesome sex. Make sure you're not settling for Mr./Mrs. Meh. In the long run, only the magic will preserve your relationship, so you'd better get on with the task of finding THE ONE.
I have a bit of a mood problem. It seems that when my life gets really tough (bounced checks, trouble at work, arguments at home) I sometimes collapse into a depression. It's not often, but when it happens it surprises everyone around me with the change in my energy, demeanor, and general outlook on life.
Dad's are just as important as moms. Even with young kids, the loss of either parent is one of the most painful aspects of divorce.
While I don't blame my then-wife for "going for it" and asking for everything she wanted: the money, the house, the custody, I don't think she was thinking beyond her interests. And we can all cite studies about mothering and nurturing, but today, just as many modern studies show the dad is of equal importance in bringing up healthy kids.
If I can leverage that into some measure of hopefulness, then I am well along my path of recovery. I don't have to aim for joy when I am activated and functioning properly.