Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.

Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.

It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.

I Wish You Well, and Absolutely Nothing Else: How To Forgive a Co-parent

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 16, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Divorce Married Life Money Parenting Self-care Single-Dad

I am responsible for my actions alone. And my actions as a divorced dad have been 100% honest, 100% open, and 100% mom/kid-friendly. Her actions... Not so much.

My Love Message: No Worries, Just Desires

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 10, 2019
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness Love Married Life Parenting Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad Spirituality

And as we ask for and receive the love we need we are also going to have disappointments. My response in life, now, is "No worries, just desires." If my desires start getting squelched or compromised due to continual misses, then it is up to me to speak up.

Next-Level Parenting: Being Awesome Even in Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 6, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Health and Fitness Joy Love Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

I wish I could've had more time with my kids. I wish my then-wife had agreed to 50/50 shared parenting. I wish my ex-wife would be a more collaborative parent. But even as I wish about these things, even as I can feel regret about the lost time, I am HAPPIER NOW THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.

Asking for Support is Hard for Most of Us: That’s Okay, Do It Anyway

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 4, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness Joy Love Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

My role is to help you identify what's stressing you out, work on lessening that stress, and begin to focus on what's good for you. And as important, what's good for your kids. And here is a simple list of things we're going to work on together.

The Four Simple Rules for Parents Getting Divorced

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 3, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness Joy Love Money Parenting Self-care Single-Dad

Also, as the man in the divorce, you have an opportunity to lead the process with grace and empathy. You cannot control how your ex behaves, the only thing you can control is your own response to the challenges ahead.

Men and Divorce with Children: My 9-year Retrospective

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 3, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

I suppose a pound of flesh is tasty when it is grilled over a flame of resentment and anger. She is acting out of spite and vitriol at this point. Again, she got what she wanted and she still came after me with the AG's office.

Letting Go of Dreams Update – Celebrating The Whole Parent Year Six

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:October 2, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Dating Depression Divorce Joy Love Married Life Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

Divorce is not something you just "get over." And with kids, you never really get over it. I am learning to continuously forgive and forge ahead with my own life as a single dad.

Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 28, 2019
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Health and Fitness Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

I do think my ex-wife and I could've agreed to 50/50 parenting and gotten a judge to sign off on our agreement. But she would never have given up her legal/strategic advantage. Perhaps she was doing what she thought was best for the children. Perhaps. But I think she was more self-centered than that, she was doing what she wanted, regardless of the impact on the kids.