Who Am I To Be Telling Anyone About Healthy Relationships?
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.
Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.
It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
As I continue my quest to be a healthier and happier parent, I can give my kids my own stories. I can share the adventures I've been on. I can hear their stories and not pass judgment. I am glad my daughter trusts me to share all the ways she's diving into the drinking culture.
Yes, kids are expensive, but they should be equally shared as an expense and as a joy. This 70/30 split is bullshit. It's demeaning to fathers. And it's based on a parenting concept from the 50's. Sure it makes it easier on the courts if everyone just goes with the plan. But don't. If you want the time with your kids, fight for it.
Anger is a slippery fish for me. My dad's anger was so pervasive and dangerous that none of my family members ever got a handle on how to deal with anger. Here are some of my issues/fears about anger.
Finding the Positive in 2021 was a challenge. And as we round the corner into the holidays, I'd like to recap my work for the year and see how my sentiment ran for the holistic side of The Whole Parent.
If you're going to have kids, I think both parents should agree to co-parent after divorce in the same manner that they agreed to co-parent as partners even before they have children.
I'm not perfect. I don't have the answer to this question of how to be happy all the time. But I am learning to see my emotions, my feelings, as something that are a part of me, but are not all of me. That's my meta-view.
While I do think there is value in online dating, I also believe there are problems inherent in the social click-me culture. But let's look at what's great about online dating.