So let's aspire to good sex, but let's put our private parts on hold for a moment while we get some clarity on what an actual relationship might look like with this person. We can't spend more than 1% of our time together in bed.
In this sacred life, we have a limited number of hours in our day. The same number of hours as every other being in our space-time continuum. By checking in with your intentions and actions on a regular basis you can begin adjusting your life towards the life you want.
Join your partner in all the ways you can. Time together doing things you both love is time together IN LOVE. That's how it works.
As a single parent dating again, things have changed for me over the last eight years. I was so energetic about finding and consummating the relationship. Now, I'm more aware at how sex, and my drive for sex, color the texture and honesty in the relationship.
At this moment, I am winning. And, I can say with confidence, you will both survive and thrive as I have. Divorce is a major disaster, but it can also be the life-changing event that sets you free to be happier than you could've imagined.
Finally, if you're going to agree to a cooperative divorce, make sure you add in a clause about NEVER INVOLVING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE. EVER.
Sure, you can lean into your kids' anger about the divorce. But your role as a parent is to help them separate their emotions from your emotions. Your anger has infused their entire lives.
Share your bed, but keep your own bedroom. That way there is no blurring of the boundaries while you are still trying to figure out the basics of the relationship.