Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
Write your profile honestly. State what you want. State what you're bringing to the party. Then edit, ask, talk, phone, and get to know them before you go for that intoxicating "first date." And, in my opinion, avoid meeting for alcoholic drinks.
When working through the details of our parenting plan, she played the "family law" trump card and let me know I would not be getting 50/50 parenting, because if she went to court she knew she would win exactly what she wanted.
I would have NEVER gone for more than the 50/50 shared parenting we agreed to when we began the collaborative divorce discussions.
Listen to your body. If you are feeling sad, check in with someone else. If you notice your overall vibe heading towards the black hole, take all necessary evasive actions.
The general mode of life with dad is positive and happy. I am *so* happy to have them on the days and nights I am afforded, that there is little room for complaints or nagging.
Sure, In online dating we all want to put our best foot forward, and make younger and prettier partners desire us, but if we're all doing that, if we're all being inauthentic... Well, that's part of the problem.
The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.
But I am also a learning individual. I can adapt and make changes in my plans and trajectories. So while I was thinking I had lost orbit and was shooting away for some new destination. I may have been only slowing to the gravitational pull of this amazing lady, and learning what her fears and passions were as well.