I am learning to ask. I am learning to fall completely head-over-heels in love. Perhaps my choices have not all worked out, but they have all involved 100% effort on my part. And my love has soared to higher highs than I knew possible.
What if I knew what I wanted and was unafraid to ask? How would that change my star map of seeking?
But if you're ignoring numero uno, by not taking care of your needs, your health, your sleep, your boundaries, the crash will come for you. You cannot drink enough coffee or take enough anti-depressants to correct a lack of self-care.
I am the one. She was not the one. There will be another one. Until I am again, the only one. Alone I stand, again. An adventurer of the heart and soul. "Let's Go!"
I tend to think that our consistent and authentic actions create our future reality. I also KNOW that my thoughts, words, and moods, form the energy or lack of energy I have for striving and working towards my goals.
If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
"Taking a year to really work on me, and be happy with me..." As Richard rebuilt a house in the Zilker area of Austin, Texas, he was aware of how the house was a metaphor of his self-recovery process. "I worked on the entryway of me. And then I had to work on the inside. I need to open up space, and make space for somebody."
Like a broken arm that heals stronger than before it was broken, what if your big love can come back with more resilience, more compassion, more flexibility when things go dark? That's the plan.