I believe we cannot heal from our divorce/relationship trauma without getting back into the ring and giving it another go. Only IN RELATIONSHIP can we learn how to be healthy in a relationship.
And as we ask for and receive the love we need we are also going to have disappointments. My response in life, now, is "No worries, just desires." If my desires start getting squelched or compromised due to continual misses, then it is up to me to speak up.
But, when the parter continues to shut down or respond in unhealthy and indifferent ways and refuses to own their side of the problem, it might be time for some serious reconsideration.
Some questions about touch, sex, and my emotional intelligence: Do I need a woman? Would I be okay alone? Why is it so hard on my core personality to be alone? Am I addicted to love, or physical touch?
So what is it about my silences that kept her wanting more and my love songs that freaked her out? Do women want romantic love? Or was it just too soon for this woman, to be ready for the heady fall?
Men get a lot of stereotypical flack for not knowing how to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings. And I'd have to say, in our culture, that being a man with feelings can be hard. I'm one of those sensitive guys, and in many situations I've had to learn to toughen up, be hard, unaffected by rage, bullshit, or attacks.