While I do think there is value in online dating, I also believe there are problems inherent in the social click-me culture. But let's look at what's great about online dating.
Slowly but surely, with patience and grace, I will be in relationship again. Months from now, a year from now, I hope to be writing you again about "the love of my life." Heck if you don't believe it, how will you ever get there.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.
Relationships are fun. And now that we have our kids and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. It doesn't have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again.
Let's be clear with each other about what we want, what we fantasize about, and what we do not want. Only with that data can we make better and more informed decisions about where to go in our partnership.
I could lose myself again, and miss the disconnects that ultimately derailed both my marriages. And whether I get married again or not, is not even relevant. All I have is this time, this moment, and today I am happily plodding along, in spite of the beauty trap
There's no hard and fast rule about when it will happen, but eventually, you will be forced to make plans, long-term plans, with your partner. What sort of things do you need to decide together?
I'd really like to spend my every other Saturday nights wrapped around a lovely and articulate woman. I'm hopeful that I can get my roll right and that eventually, the numbers will come up in my favor.