But it's the kids who stand to lose the most from this imbalanced systemic approach. Dad is more than money. And mom is capable of making just as much money (let's table the fair pay discussion for the moment) as the dad. These old roles no longer fit the educated and compassionate couple. But the road to a good and healthy co-parenting plan is not a well-worn path.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
Each day, we just groove. Watching a movie, cooking dinner, walking her dogs, I am happier together with someone who is holding my hand.
Love is a journey. Love is not a soul mate who sweeps you off your feet. Love is a bit more like beauty and the beast. We've got flaws, we've got inner dragons, we've got issues, and we STILL LOVE THE OTHER PERSON.
Today, nearly a year later, I am still a deadbeat dad on the record. Despite several calls to the AG's office and several agreements to resolve and close the child support account, I am still in arrears by $1.39.
I can offer hope and ideas for navigating the most difficult co-parent behaviors. Divorce is hard on everyone, please don't use your former partner as a target for your rage and frustration.
I genuinely believe that family laws are corrupt and need to be reset to start at 50/50 parenting with no child support. I love helping moms understand single dads and how to relate to them.
The loss of my kids as a 30% dad was not my choice. The ongoing bs of resentment and entitlement was not about me. My ex-wife's anger and resentment, here 11-years later, is 100% self-inflicted.