There are plenty of single parents who use their kids to get out of almost every obligation. Even obligations to themselves, for say... exercise, dating, taking responsibility for their own actions. And I have been the dad who apologized for checking his phone when a text dinged while on a date.
The deadbeat mom uses the custodial system and family law to not only get what she wants but to damage her ex-partner in the process.
As we move forward as "this half" of the family, I am certain that my best time with my kids is ahead of me. And that's all the good news you need to hear today. Keep going.
In middle school my daughter would often call me during the school day saying she could not reach her mom, or get a call back, for something required for a field trip. I would make the call.
The rest is negotiation, navigation, and nurture. We've both got work ahead of us. We are always in a state of becoming. But today, I have my lifetime cheerleader beside me. And I'm always ready joyfully embrace her in all of her flaws and misdirections. We've all got them.
As a co-parent to a narcissistic is has not been easy. In most of the negotiations, I was given no chance to be on top.
It's my job to help work together with one or both of the parents to create a positive outcome for everyone involved.
Why would someone attempt to mess with the relationship between her kids and their father? Still? 13 years later?