You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.
It is my belief, that if you don't build and nurture a strong WE container with your partner, you're going to find asparagus popping up in between you more frequently. Put the WE first in consideration and you are on your way towards building a healthier and happier partnership.
It's going to get easier. You are going to be okay. Your kids are going to be okay. And, at some point in the future, you're going to look back on this event (the divorce) as one of the defining moments in your life. Act well. Learn to lean into the process of becoming a single parent.
My motto for dealing with my ex-wife and her anger: Focus on your children. Love your children.