And when things don't go in our favor, even when we are not given 50/50 parenting, it is still our responsibility as men, to lead from a position of love and strength.
Somewhere deeper in that story, the one we never talked about, there was an assumption and agreement that their mom deserved and wanted more time with them. Inherent in the imbalanced divorce is the idea that the non-custodial (30%) parent wants less time with the kids.
In some twisted way, my ex-wife assumed that she was the better parent and thus more entitled to the child support, the house, and the kids' care and feeding. As a good dad, this was just her assumption. Today, her assumption wound probably be supported by state family law. But, I believe times are changing.
I am responsible for my actions alone. And my actions as a divorced dad have been 100% honest, 100% open, and 100% mom/kid-friendly. Her actions... Not so much.
It was not fair what happened, and in many ways, my ex-wife was the architect and builder of the divorce.
Love your kids with everything you've got. Let go of your ex, as best you can, and focus on the impact your love is having on your kids. Stay true to that value and you will always choose the high road.
Today, the law serves the best interest of the kids and the mom. Dad is seen as the breadwinner, and thus the "paycheck" for divorcing moms who are showed the divorce brochure and the good deal they are being offered.
She has played all her trump cards and she's still not happy. She's remarried and she's still not happy. She might not ever be happy. That's no longer my problem.