Take one step back the next time you want to overly defend your son. Take one breath before rushing in as he's dealing with issues. Give his little spirit time to develop. (Even with less of your "inspiration and help," he will get there.)
When you think about the person you might like to be spending your Saturday afternoon and Saturday night with, where do you imagine you might be on any given Saturday afternoon? And then it's your opportunity/responsibility to get yourself there. She/he might already be there.
I hope you meet a lot of nice people out there. But don't be fooled by their looks, their profile statements, or their fluent email banter. Go for the face-to-face meeting with as little hassle and energy as possible. If it becomes difficult to land the date, for whatever reason, move on. If they wanted to meet they would also be trying to make it happen, not giving excuses.
The two of us have been through a lot already. We've jumped through some burning hoops to see the next layer of protection being stripped away. We are pretty close to the pure joy of finding time together and knowing that we will enjoy the company of this other person until something else comes along.
Speak your expectations and disappointments. Find agreements that you can both live with. But agreements are not meant to change a person's fundamental personality. I wasn't concerned, therefore, aware of a lot of the chores and details of house management, or lawn management. So I went along my merry way thinking things were peachy, until I was told they were not.
For anyone with a family, reestablishing a home is a critical part of the rebuilding process. So I was proud and hopeful when I moved us all into the little home near the lake. And that first summer we swam and played and compromised on the roommate situation for the kids, with my daughter setting up shop in my bedroom most of the time she was staying with dad.
I believe in order to find our lover we need a fairly clear picture of what they might be. Way beyond looks, the construction or destruction happens over the course of the initial weeks of "dating." What forms beyond the initial chemistry is what will remain beyond the heat of the sexual newness.
Suffering under massive financial hardship due to the initial divorce decree can be important for your survival and ability to thrive in your new life. Sure, you're going to court, but you had to do this in some form before to get divorced, and if it's absolutely necessary, at least make it as non-confrontational as possible.