So much of co-parenting is about negotiation and compromise. We no longer have the same loving emotional ties to our former partners. We no longer have to make their urgency and priorities our own.
There are plenty of single parents who use their kids to get out of almost every obligation. Even obligations to themselves, for say... exercise, dating, taking responsibility for their own actions. And I have been the dad who apologized for checking his phone when a text dinged while on a date.
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Define some interests that you can share. If you don't have any obvious links talk about things that excite you and see if the other person shares any flicker of enthusiasm. That's what you want. An enthusiastic yes.
I want a partner. One. Any potential swipe can bring a new person into my orbit, even if only for a few minutes.
Get over yourself and your amazing story. Unwrap their magic. Ask for their ideas. Provide space and quiet for their responses.
If enthusiasm and authentic affection open the connection, what are the things that will keep our fires burning bright and burning in concert with one another?
I have been employed or working under contract for most of the time since the divorce. And today I'm gearing up to start a new job so that I can get some money, but more importantly so that my kids will get some money. And yes, the dinosaur will be fed and happy in the next month.