Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
More love. Less unspoken and thus unfulfilled expectations. The only way to achieve satisfaction is to let your partner know what you want and then be flexible in how their answer unfolds.
Expressing my life as an act of prayer and mindfulness is my current path. I walk in this present moment, aware of things around me, aware of past sorrows, aware of anxious potentials, and I'm choosing to return to the clicking of my fingertips on these keys.
I am no longer willing to settle for anything less than 100% commitment, and 100% flexibility and willingness to grow and aspire together towards our joint AND individual goals.
Be together. Be kind. Consider your partner before making plans. And always give them the benefit of the doubt. We build trust by being trustful and trustworthy. Kindness is the core skill in showing your affection and care for another person.
You can start on your own. Write about your early childhood traumas. What are the things that hurt you? What things happened with no adult around to give you safety and comfort? Today, your writing and speaking can re-experience this event with a new more holistic experience.
As I continue my quest to be a healthier and happier parent, I can give my kids my own stories. I can share the adventures I've been on. I can hear their stories and not pass judgment. I am glad my daughter trusts me to share all the ways she's diving into the drinking culture.
I am a coach who is concerned 100% with your future goals and how to achieve them. I encourage my clients to have a therapist to deal with the historical hurts and traumas that are holding them back. I am here in a supportive and empowering role for you.
Yes, kids are expensive, but they should be equally shared as an expense and as a joy. This 70/30 split is bullshit. It's demeaning to fathers. And it's based on a parenting concept from the 50's. Sure it makes it easier on the courts if everyone just goes with the plan. But don't. If you want the time with your kids, fight for it.